"How did I know," grumbled the Doctor.
Ohokor now had a grin that was ... well, not exactly evil ... it wasn't pleasant, it definitely bespoke of bad things for the Doctor and Emma ... but the Doctor couldn't place it. "But first," Ohokor nearly chuckled, "you two and me are going to have a little fun."
The Doctor ducked her head to whisper into Emma's ear. "You must have more experience than I in this area," she said; "is that a 'come-on'?"
"What are you going to do to us, you fiend?" Emma cried.
"Since you're so curious," Ohokor smarmed, "you can find out first. You, over here." He motioned the Doctor over to the wrecked cryopod from which the Ut had been freed, and while holding the gun on Emma tied the Doctor's hands over her head with the rubber tubing.
"Tying me up with rubber tubing with only one hand?" asked the Doctor. "You do this sort of thing often?"
"Wait yer turn," Ohokor slimed. He finished and turned to Emma. As he advanced on her with his back to the Doctor, the Doctor mouthed, Stall him.
--
"Is it always like that afterward, Emma?" the Doctor asked. "The lapsing into unconsciousness, I mean."
"Haven't you ever pistol-whipped someone before?" Emma asked, stepping over Ohokor to start untying the Doctor.
"Not at his own request, no." The Doctor flexed stiffness from her arms as Emma freed them. "Come on. We have to get to Alakazar before the Ut destroys all of Cagalamapavawa."
--
In city central control, Alakazar strode out of the City Central Controller's office. "Status?" he asked the city central control console controllers.
"The Ut is on a rampage of destruction," said Himiriwi, the city central control crisis control console controller.
"People are panicking in the streets," said Kynywy, the city central control civil coordination console controller.
"What about the fallout it gives off?" asked Alakazar. "Any reports of radiation sickness?"
"All over the city," said Demene, the city central control center for disease control console controller. "Hospitals are beginning to fill up."
"How about morale?" Alakazar asked. "How are people bearing up once they're away from this thing?"
"They're pretty confident their government can take care of the monster," said Idilinia, the city central control communications cable console controller.
Alakazar nodded. "We can, too. That is, unless ..."
"What?" asked Kywyny.
"Unless this thing were to somehow start converting the radiation it's generating into its own mass, thereby increasing its size to that of a Japanese movie monster." Alakazar laughed. "But how likely is that?"
No one else laughed. Idilinia said, "That's how it happens in the movies."
Alakazar laughed again, but nervously. "It only happens in stupid science fiction."
"That's what they always say in the stupid science fiction," said Himiriwi.
All of a sudden the Doctor and Emma burst through the doors from the City Central Control Center central corridor. "Something too horrible to think about has happened!" cried the Doctor.
"You've escaped!" said Alakazar.
"Well, yes," said the Doctor, urgency deflated in nonplussedness, "but that's not what I meant."
"I was told you'd been kidnapped by the known criminal Ohokor," said Alakazar.
"Oh? Didn't come across my desk," said Como, the city central control criminals and cops console controller.
"He who loves by the whip and chain dies by the whip and chain," said the Doctor in a momentary flashback to the short Scotsman.
"Doctor," said Emma, "don't we have something too horrible to think about to tell them?"
"Right! All the radiation levels have fallen back to normal, and that can only mean one thing: -"
"The Ut has somehow started converting the radiation it's generating into its own mass, thereby increasing its size to that of a Japanese movie monster," chorused the city central control console controllers.
"I wanted to say it," said the Doctor.
"Confirmed, sir! The Ut is now so large that it's visible from as far away as the suburbs!" reported the city central control city-county coordination console controller.
"How did you guess, sir?" Idilinia asked Alakazar.
"Guess?" said the Doctor. "You guessed this might happen?"
"It was almost as if he knew," said Himiriwi admiringly.
"Right," said the Doctor, eyeing Alakazar intently, making him uncomfortable. "And there's no possible way he could have known."
"Oh no," said Como.
"No way," said Idilinia.
"Impossible," said Kynywy.
"The only way someone could possibly know something like that in advance," said the Doctor still eyeing Alakazar, "is to be part of a plot to make it happen."
The city central control console controllers all laughed at the Doctor's joke.
"I need to make a private call from my office," said Alakazar.
--
"- The Ut has reached Stage C, and is acquiring the mass it will need to transform to Stage D," Alakazar told the interstellar radio.
"Excellent," came the reply.
"But there's a problem," Alakazar went on. "There are two women here -"
"Only two on the whole planet? No wonder you want to be autocrat."
"No no, there are two visitors who are trying to destroy everything!"
"Let them. Perhaps we didn't need the Ut after all. Pity you can't predict something like this."
"No no no, I mean they're trying to expose our plot!"
"Who are they?"
"I don't know. One calls herself the Doctor."
The voice on the radio chuckled evilly. "No doubt you've already tried to get rid of her once?"
"I hired an unsavory character called Ohokor to get rid of her and her friend, but apparently he had more extravagant ideas and a thing for blondes."
"I could have told him she wasn't worth it anyway."
"What should I do now?"
"Let me worry about it when I get there."
"You're coming here?"
"My ship should be showing on your space scopes shortly." The voice laughed evilly. Alakazar could even hear the beard.
--
"Someone's ship is showing on the space scopes, sir," said the city central control celestial commerce console controller as Alakazar reentered City Central Control.
"Didn't you send out a quarantine signal when the trouble started?" asked Emma. "Who could that be?"
"Unless I miss my guess," said the Doctor, resuming her glare at Alakazar, "there's no one it could be but the allies of whoever's in on this plot."
"Plot!" yelped Demene.
"There's a plot?" asked Himiriwi.
"We thought you were just funnin'," said Como.
Meanwhile the Doctor had moved to look at the space scopes. Unaccountably, at the sight of the ships' drive signature sensor on the space scopes, she smiled.
"What is it, Doctor?" Emma asked.
"A nasty surprise for someone, I should think," said the Doctor smugly. "Doesn't that drive signature look familiar to you?"
"Ship's signalling," said the city central control celestial commerce console controller. "Sending signal to central screen."
On the viewscreen appeared the Master and a Chartreuse Dalek side-by-side.
"Hello!" said the Doctor. "Nice job, convincing Alakazar you'd help him with his evil plot."
"WE-ARE-HELPING-HIM-WITH-HIS-EVIL-PLOT," screeched the Dalek. "SURRENDER-OR-YOU-WILL-BE-EXTERMINATED."
"But - but -" the Doctor stammered. "You reformed! Both of you, my nemesis and the whole Dalek race! After that zitonic beam business."
"That was because we thought you were dead," said the Master. "But you're not dead!" He cackled evilly.
The Doctor huffed. "Men! Let'em have what they want, and then they turn on you."
"I thought you said you were new at this?" said Emma.
ROLL CREDITS