Paul Gadzikowski
scarfman@iglou.com
The Return of Archy the Cockroach
Cats Come and Go
boss i must agree with
the household consensus
your family dog is one
of the most brainless
people i have met outside
of the human race maggie
is one of those dogs who
so throw themselves into
their adopted role as
man s best friend that
they even forget the
animals s lingua franca
of course they can t
speak human either
this i suppose is what
the phrase quote dumb
animal unquote really
means
when i met your family
cat crackers i expected
him to claim to be a
reincarnated human like
me i expected this because
mehitabel claimed to be
cleopatra after she saw all
the attention i got but i
forgot that mehitabel had
never been fixed crackers
is as content as a cat can
be who is always convinced
that something more exciting
must be happening on the
other side of the front
door though he has a
disconcerting fixation
with getting his paws on
me it would not be safe for
me to cross the kitchen
floor if he wasn t scared of
maggie for some reason
which escapes me
i asked him about this
once
crackers says i why are
you obsessed with
catching me
because you move around
says crackers peering at
me from atop the stove
are you out to eat me
says i remembering several
occasions when mehitabel
drove me to cower
among the typewriter
keys
i might eat you if i
was hungry says crackers
but you fascinate me just
because i want to see if
you d stop moving if i
caught you if you didn t
stop moving i would
experiment until i found
out what would stop you
of course then i d be sad
that you d stopped moving
because you d be no fun to
play with any more but
i would still experiment
with the next cockroach
i caught because i have
a deep seated need
to know my actions can
affect my environment
it s a cat thing says
crackers
boss they say curiosity
killed the cat but from my
point of view the cat
himself doesn t seem the
most likely victim
archy
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